As a child I looked to the silver screen for my hero. I found him in the town of Mayberry as the skinny, goofy-looking Barney Fife ... the one-of-a-kind (Jesse) Don Knotts.
I could relate to him because growing up I also was very thin. High school classmates would make fun of my Twiggy-like figure. Little did I know at the time that Don Knotts also was bullied, but he didn't let that get him down. I found out that he was very nervous (just like me), and an extrreme hypochondriac (I was also paranoid about diseases and illnesses).
As an adult, good ole Barney continues to be my role model. He didn't allow his nervousness or slight stature get the best of him. He pursued his dream of becoming a ventriloquist. He read books, and later become very talented in the field. He funnelled his nervousness via his puppets. People laughed with him NOT at him. When he joined the military, he was recognized for his talents. He was assigned to the entertainent corp, and that was when his life changed. He had a unique talent for making people laugh.
As I adjust to my mastectomy, I ask myself, "What would Don Knotts advise me to do. How can I make this situation work for me?" One day while watching reruns of "The Andy Griffith Show" I became mesmerized by Don Knotts' unique comedic approach. Then a thought came to me, "Make this work for you. Sandra. Share your story with others. Show the world how to laugh amidst the pain."
God blessed me with an unusual talent ... the gift of writing. This is a vehicle where I can heal myself as I help others heal their scars, both physical and emotional. So, here's a few original jokes I'd like to share:
"The morning after having a wild night of passion, my new love interest looks down at the spot where there once was a left boob. I could sense he was too embarrassed to ask, so I said, "You were such an TIGER last night! You bit it off!" (He hasn't called since.) @copyrighted 7/06/2012
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"I was in the middle of a hot, passionate kiss, when my new boyfriend unbuttoned my bra . He was horrified when he looked down and saw I was missing my boob. I remarked, "Honey, at my age the milk turns into powder and it has evaporated." (Never heard from him again.) @copyrighted 7/06/2012
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"I had been dating this suave-looking guy from the local ballroom dance club. One night over coffee he brought up the idea of dating exclusively. I told him I wanted to be honest with him, and shared with him my mastectomy story. He looked crushed and commented, "But Honey, I'm a breast man." to which I replied "Then go to Popeye's, Church's or Kentucky Fried where you can get your choice of Cajun style, baked or deep fried." (Haven't seen him since.) @copyrighted 7/06/2012
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OK, I'm new at this joke writing, so please don't have me arrested!
The purpose of this post is to show others that one can make a "negative" situation work for them. Personally, my mastectomy has helped me filter through all the superficial men so I can find a kind, compassinate one who will accept me unconditionally.
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