The Third Time's a Charm ---- NOT!

You know that saying, "Third time's a charm" ... well it sure doesn't include having a breast cancer operation!

The first lumpectomy in 200 was extremely painful.  I woke up screaming from surgery with a level 10 pain (even while on morphine).  The surgeon said I could go home in four hours. The men in my life at the time who were in the recovery room  threatened to hit the Tin Man Surgeon.  It took me eighteen months to be able to use my left arm, and another seven years before I could regain full use of it.

The second lumpectomy in 2004 was much easier, thanks to a competent female doctor; however, I experienced severe intestinal pain and digestive problems post-surgery. After countless medical visits, lab work, tests and cat scans, the doctors still could not asseess the situation.  I was released while still in pain.  I was able to regain full range of my right arm in mid-2008, but the digestive issues continued. Eventually, with nontraditional hebs the problem was resolved.

Then December 2012 I had a third operation, this time a mastectomy.  Because the pea-sized tumor was contained, I didn't have to take chemo. This operation has left me feeling weak, tired and with difficulty digesting foods.  Seven months after the surgery the doctors still cannot diagnose what is wrong. 

The situation is extremely frustrating.  I have several days feeling 85% better, and then BAM ... I have an "episode" that leaves me feeling extremely weak, woozy and with intestinal/stomach discomfort followed by vomiting.  I can wake up in the morning feeling like Wonder Woman ready to start my day with a cardio routine at the gym when suddenly the "I'm going to lose it" feeling comes over me.  I become not only chilled and nauseaous, but there are days when I lose my balance. One of these episodes occurred while in the doctor's office. He concluded that perhaps it was high blood pressure.  Well of course my blood pressure rises when I have my "episodes", but generally my b/p is normal at 124/72.

Before the surgerey I felt AWESOME: was able to lift 40 lbs, did my gardening/yard work, worked out at the gym 5 times a week, went jogging with my dog daily, danced on the weekends. Now, I cannot plan outings because of the uncertainty of how I'll feel from one day to the next. 

I am a very optimistic, outgoing person; I focus on my good days rather than dwell on the days when I am confined to the house. But, there are days when I hold my chihuahua and cry for hours at a time.

All I can say is, "The third time is not a charm!"