"Removing My Puppet Strings"

My third (and final) breast cancer surgery was the most frustrating of all, not only because of the mastectomy but also because of the confusion and emotional trauma associated with the operation.  To add to the high level of anxiety, the doctors had no answers to my many questions, such as, "When would the nausea and vomiting stop?" and "When will the numbness in my left arm, chest and side disappear?"  I did not get  concrete answers to my questions.  Instead, I was told why I should not be experiencing the side effects that were preventing me from leading a normal life. It was even suggested that I receive psychiatric attention because, perhaps, my pain was self-perpetuated.  

Emotionally, I felt as if I had been pushed into a corner.  Nobody would listen.  Instead, I was offered a variety of medications, each one causing my symptoms to worsen. Then I decided to take a stance: I was no longer going to be treated as if I was a puppet. I chose an alternative treatment plan, that includes seeing a Tibetan doctor.  My current team of alternative practitioners listen, and are committed to my full recuperation.  

"Removing My Puppet Strings"

by

Sandra Fernandez-Henderson

01/26/2014

"I was treated as if I was not real,

like a puppet that does not feel

pain or emotions.

They would bring

me meds that made me sick.

I was like a puppet on a string

who had no voice

or choice

on how my body would heal. 

They treated me as if I was not real.

They tried to convince me I was out of my mind,

when in fact they could not find

a treatment plan to ease the pain

so I could feel wholesome again.

Sadly, they shook their heads

and treated me like a puppet who was not real.

They said what I needed was a shrink,

that the pains and symptoms were

made up in my head.

I expected them to be compassionate,

wouldn't you think? 

Yet they pushed me to the brink

of almost giving up hope.

But I regained my hope and

hung onto my Faith

as I saw that flicker of inner light

that gave me the strength to fight

back. 

I cut the strings from the selfish puppeteers.

I set forth on my journey to find a cure

and no longer endure

needless pain.

I survived, and am here today

to share with you my story...

that there is a way to recovery

that will set you free 

from the disease

and the strings of the puppeteer."

 Sandra Fernandez-Henderson 01/26/2014