During the healing process, it is crucial to surround yourself with positive people who will uplift you in spirit ... those friends/family members who will stand by your side, especially on those days when you are unable to do the basics for yourself.
I had the unfortunate experience of being abandoned during my post-operative days by individuals in my life whom I thought would be with me through "thick and thin." I was stunned when people whom I had been there for decided to run away from my situation. One long-time friend of 16 years blantantly expressed that she had no time to be supportive. Shockingly, this was a former co-worker whom I assisted during several of her family issues. Other people broke their promises of helping me grocery shop, shampooing my hair, assisting me at doctor's appointments, or change my bedding.
Consequently, other people's "rejection" fortified my relationship with God, that Divine Presence Who is always in my Life.
I took inventory of those people whom were there with me only for the fun, happy times. Sadlly, I removed them from my life completely. This may sound a bit harsh, almost cold-hearted, but I need balance in my life. I thought of the Book of Isaiah while I made this decision, "Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up quickly." ... Isiah 58.8
After I severed my relationships with those individuals who are self-centered, and selfish, I felt much lighter, even on the bleakest of days when I could barely get out of bed, much less shampoo my hair or make a cup of tea. Within my heart I found the compassion to forgive those people, but I vowed not to ever allow myself become a vulnerable, victim no matter the circumstance. In rearranging my social circle, I focus on quality NOT quantity. It is far better to be alone in God's Presence (and my faithful chihuahua, Rocky) than be surrounded with selfish people who are with me for their own personal gain.
I have created a new, spiritually-based group of people as my "new family" and friends ... a soul connection is important to me as I proceed on my Pathway. I wish true happiness to those who have hurt, disappointed or rejected me. In doing so, I created a space for like-minded people to enter my life.
I am truly happy and very peaceful. I have discovered my Life's Purpose and Mission: to help others heal through nutrition and inspiration. I gave up a fulltime career for a rewarding, parttime job where I demo nutritional / wellness products and teach others the importance of nutrition and food supplements. I am thankful for each day, and I feel truly blessed to have a life full of purpose and meaning.
Thank you for writing this. Very clearly shows how few authentic people are actually around us. When we need a lending hand and our so-called friends and family do not naturally extend theirs, we see their true colors. It is a waste of time to associate with selfish energy. The one true friend is the Beloved, our Lord, God, whatever name we give the holy Presence and gift within. Thank you for your frankness, wisdom and strength. Love, Shirlee
ReplyDeletePinky,
ReplyDeleteI had a similar situation arise about 10 years ago. I was hospitalized and told my days of life were numbered and not many. From that point, I was in and out hospitals and ICU units. 8 1/2 years ago I was wait listed for an organ transplant. This began happening 8 years after my wife of 15 years passed on from ALS, and my son passed on 5 years later. Just as I was placed on the organ transplant wait list, my father passed on, and soon thereafter, my favorite uncle. I was confined to a wheelchair and had no transportation available for regular medical appointments. My then-wife of 1 1/2 years left just before I was released from hospitalization 10 years ago. The Court decided that I owed her nearly one hundred thousand dollars and all the household goods for spending 1 1/2 years with me, though we had no children together and she worked, while my employer forced me into extended leave without pay and employee benefits. I knew I could die at any moment, and felt like the vultures were already at my side pulling away all that I am physically. All I had left was what was my spiritual Being, my spiritual Self. Somehow I persevered, and grew to be quite healthy. I am still wait-listed for organ transplant, but the doctors are satisfied with my current state of health and prefer to not expose me to the surgery and all the dangerous medicines I would have to take post-transplant. I have a new group of friends who now reach out to me, send me love, and I know I can count on if I needed some physical support here in my home. I have an in-home, 24/7 caregiver who traveled across the country to assist me, and does not insist that I pay for caregiver services. I have not yet found a new income-producing career to follow, but my employer did allow me to return to a menial desk job 5 years ago so that I can qualify for some retirement benefits and insurance (my "disease" is a pre-existing condition and not accepted by any insurance company at all, except through an employer plan). I have been able to continue my ministry as an ordained New Thought minister - now online through the internet. I am able to continue educating myself and learning to ever expand my ministry - and my life - in new areas and ways of serving humanity. Every day I wake up to a beautiful day, filled with Love, Joy, Peace and deep Appreciation for Life and the blessings I have to be in this Life! I have time to meditate now. I am not rushed in my routine. Truly, each moment is one of Peace! And, I enjoy plenty of social interaction and connecting with people and serving them. I know that my gift to humanity - small as my gift may be - is the example of my living my life and serving others. While I no longer require or expect others to provide support (service) for me, I have the opportunity to receive service from others - especially my caregiver. Yes, I do have moments where I wistfully think back on the many people who said they were my dear friends and family, and I could always count on their support. But, I am at Peace with their choosing what they felt was most important to themselves. I allow those choices to be, and provide no further "add" to this "allowing" (no judgments, no expectations, no recriminations, no manipulations - nothing to add). And, I am not even near my middle age span, so I have so much more to look forward to, built on the solid foundation of Love, Beauty, Joy, Gratitude and Appreciation, Peace, Play & FUN, and ever expanding awakening in levels of awareness of my divine connection with Transcendent Source and Infinite Potential flowing through such Divine Source!