Being faced with cancer is a very emotional experience, especially when facing the disease for the second and third time. An essential part of the healing process is being able to release these emotions in a constructive way. Being able to express myself through tears has been very important for me.  The problem I have faced, especially with this latest episode, is many people cannot handle seeing me cry.

I remember this past December I was faced with the shock of a third breast cancer operation, this time a mastectomy. The radiologists, surgeons and oncologist were pessimistic: the prognosis wasn't good. They wanted to find out the source of this reoccurrence.  Where had the disease traveled? Which organs had been affected? What would they find during surgery?

I would try to talk with friends and family members. I was frustrated when most people wanted me to stifle my tears. Some reactions from others were, "Don't worry! God is in control."  or "There's no need for that! Be strong!" and "You always come out a winner. Tears won't help."  and "Shhh!  You don't need to cry."  All these remarks were like emotional slaps to my heart. Personally, tears are comforting to my soul. I feel cleansed after a long, much-needed cry.

One day last month I felt overwhelmed, and all I needed was something simple: a hug and a shoulder to cry on. When I knew my need would be unfulfilled, I found comfort in writing a poem about my tears:

"The Taste of My Tears"

Please don't tell me not to cry.

Tears are heaven's gift which I cannot deny.

They allow me to release the pain

so I can feel whole again

and heal from past sorrow.

I can taste in each tear

the strength of God Almighty, forever near.

With each heavenly drop released from my eye

my soul is refreshed; I can fly

like never before.

The warmth of each drop I shed

reassures me of brighter days ahead,

and I can appreciate the lessons of days past.

With each tear I am able to release

the chains that deny my inner peace.

If you find it difficult to see me cry,

do no feel guilty.

Know that God is standing by

to help me pick p the pieces of my sorrow.





Many people are at a loss for words when they see a loved one cry, but in many situations, there is no need for words. If you have a loved one, friend or neighbor who is facing the disease, just allow that person to cry. Hold his/her hand to connect emotionally and to reassure the person you are there for emotional support.