I AM GRATEFUL

I AM GRATEFUL

Sometimes amidst all the pain and tears, what a person might need is a reality check from God to show us that life could truly be worse.  For me that attitude adjustment happened in August 2000.

The summer heat was more humid and scorching that normal, or perhaps it was normal and I was experiencing extreme heat because of the painful burns from radiation therapy. On this particular morning I was exhausted, cranky and extremely nauseous. I barely had enough energy to drive the 16 miles to the cancer center for my daily therapy.  Less than 10 minutes away from the hospital I began to feel weak.  I stopped at a local grocery store where the manager gave me a glass of water and some crackers. After fifteen minutes I was able to regain my composure and drove the remaining five miles to the hospital.

While I parked my car, a huge wave of nausea suddenly came over me.  I could barely breathe as I ran from the parking lot to the comfort of my dressing room in the treatment center. I didn't have time to stop and sign in; I just ran for the nearest restroom. I thought I heard a security guard yell something, but I dismissed it because I didn't want to talk to anybody.  The nurse brought me a wet towel for my forehead. Eventually, she escorted me to my private dressing area where I changed from my orange two-piece track suit to my hospital gown.

While I waited for my technician, I noticed a blur of orange pass the open door.  I looked out the door, and was not prepared for what I saw.  There were six male prisoners dressed in orange, all chained by the ankles with rifles pointed at them. Police were escorting them to their weekly radiation appointments.  "How could they even try to escape?" I asked myself.  These men could barely walk; the disease had eaten away at their faces, noses, mouths and lips.  Two resembled living corpses.

That evening as I lay in the comfort of my home, I was truly thankful for my many blessings.  I could call a friend if I needed to.  I could brew a cup of a tea in the middle of the night if I needed.  I could call in for food if I didn't want to cook.  I could sit in my patio if I wanted to enjoy the cool night's breeze.  I could watch television all night if I couldn't sleep.

I cried that night, but it wasn't for me.  I cried for the prisoners whose sentences were compounded by this horrible disease. And I cried out of gratitude for all the luxuries I have in life.